Travel Component... onward Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Jerusalem

I do have to apologize for not updating sooner. On Oct 26th, we left for travel component through the ME. First stop, Turkey. Can I just say I LOVE TURKEY!! After spending two months in Cairo, Turkey was a much needed release for my mind, emotions, and very much a heavy spirit. I didn't even realize I was carrying such a weight until I could literally feel it lift from me the first day of Turkey. I was released to be myself again. As we drove down the streets there were trees and parks and couples strolling hand in hand by the waterside. Children were playing, men were fishing, women were power walking discussing daily life. When we got off the bus, I could walk through a crowd without men hissing at me or people starring. I was just another person in the crowd. We spent the first night on a boat road on the Bosphorus. I spent hours listening to the water and watching couples share their love with each other. The next week and a half among all of our speakers and coursework I walked the streets making friends with the locals. I have to say, Turkish men are quite charming!! Every night for 5 days straight I was offered some form of free food or drink along with kind compliments... I'll take that any day! After a series of events in Egypt, this was freedom for my soul. I didn't have to walk around guarding my every move, aahhhh it was wonderful!

Next stop...Syria.
In essence we spent 5 days walking around Damascus Old City. We prayed in ancient mosques, ate falafel, and bought tons of dirt cheap pirated DVD's. I was sick with a little parasite for much of this time so my energy level was drained, but we had some great experiences. One of my good friends from MESP, Rochelle, her brother and sister-n-law live in Damascus. They were kind enough to take us to a Syrian Orthodox service. Of course we didn't understand any of the service, but the smells, sounds, and iconography in this small church was enough of a spiritual experience. If I remember correctly this church was the location where Jesus' disciples used to worship in the 1st century. Such rich history and stories surround me at all times. It makes me realize that the Lord has been so present long before and long after I am gone. But I am so blessed during this present day to make a footprint in history. I trust the Lord reaches even into the world during this day in age to speak to His servants the same as He did in the days of old.

Jordan... only 2 days... but still significant because the one full day in Jordan was spent floating the dense waters of the Dead Sea on what just happened to be my 22nd birthday. That one is going down in the cool birthday book! I liked Jordan, I can't say exactly why, but I would like to return to find out.

Now Jerusalem. I must make a note: It is more proper and politically correct for me to say Jerusalem, not Israel because technically Jerusalem is not recognized, according to international law, as territory claimed by the state of Israel in 1947, I hope that sentence gives you somewhat of an idea of how my time is spent here in Jerusalem. For one week now, at least twice a day, we have been hammered with speakers and articles and full-frontal collision with the Israel/Palestinian conflict. The very reason why I wanted to come with MESP to the Middle East was to get a more in depth look at the conflict. Let's just say it has hit me hard, like a deer in the headlights kind of fashion. And after all the experts from religious and political figures on every end of the spectrum I have concluded I know close to nothing. In reality, I am receiving such a birds eye view because I am not Israeli nor Palestinian. Those who have lived here there entire lives remain in this maize of a conflict, one which they live out every day. I am incredibly passionate about this issue, but I am highly under qualified to make any sound judgments. People, including myself, have no idea how incredibly complicated this situation is. Not only is a political struggle for autonomy, but the significance of this land with all of its biblical history means that all three monotheistic Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) are all fighting for a piece of it. There are those here and all over the world that believe the state of Israel is biblical prophecy come true preparing the way for the Messiah to return. Just from this perspective alone there is a multitude of questions, most of which cannot be answered. Would God build up a state at the detriment of his people the Palestinians? Because in essence it is the Palestinians who have suffered to see this "prophecy" fulfilled. Embarrassingly I don't know my biblical eschatology well enough to even form a legitimate opinion. I have not even mentioned the complexity from purely a political perspective and how settlements, refugees, land, and resources have prevented a Palestinian state for 60 years. It hurts my brain and my heart at the same time.

The main purpose for this blog other than the fact that I have neglected it for far too long, is I need to ask for prayer. I trust my community back home to actually be on their knees for me if I needed it. Well I need it and so does my group. I don't know if it is pure exhaustion, work overload, disconnect with the local community, or spiritual warfare, but there is a strong weight and lack of joy in this place. Every day I wake up knowing I have slept enough hours to keep me energized for the day, but I struggle just to walk out of my hospice. And now I am seeing the same exhaustion in others around me. It's not just a physical weariness, but it has grabbed hold of my mind, emotions, and spirit. Worst of all and ironically at that, I am in the holiest and most sacred place on earth and I have yet to feel more distant from God than in this place. I can't hear him, feel him, or see him. I walk around to all of these "memorials" that have commercialized the life and journey of Jesus. I'm supposed to feel a sense of awe from the presence of this place, but all I feel is numb. My desire to seek him dwindles with every day that I am here. Today I was in church and I couldn't even come up with words to pray. The one day I found peace and the presence of the Lord was when I walked the shore of the Sea of Galilee and weeped on a rock. I knew at that moment he was with me and it was at a place that had not been desecrated my mortal hands. The waters moved with freedom and the fish jumped with joy. That particular day a storm was coming in and I felt the thunder awaken my heart to feel again. That was when I weeped and cried out to God. Then rays of sunlight peeked through the dark cloud and brought warmth all throughout my body. Praise God for his sweet touch! But now I am back in Jerusalem and the weight is still there. So I ask for your prayers of renewal and eyes to see the world around me, both in physical and metaphysical manifestations.

I love you all, whoever may be reading this.

May peace be upon you and me